If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I was on Vacation with my family last week in sunny Walt Disney World. I had an incredible time, soaking up sun, going for runs in my bikini, conducting my coaching calls on our room's balcony overlooking the pool... where I later went swimming and lazily read my kindle and of course, had a blast spending time with my family.
What I didn't share in the photos or the comments, was what happened the night before I left for Disney. While packing, I realized I could not find my bikini bottoms... so I jetted off to Target to grab a pair. What I thought would be an easy, grab-try on-go situation actually turned into something much "bigger." While in the dressing room (mind you, under terrible lighting and like 3" from the mirror) I was hit with some pretty surprising insecure and sad thoughts. I was like, "what the heck!!! when did that jiggle get there, when did that dimple appear, when did I 'let myself go' ". Seriously, not the experience I had planned.
I quickly put my 20 layers back on (it's hella cold here in NY), hesitantly purchased a pair of bottoms and went out to my car. Although, the moment in the dressing room was a bit jarring, no one wants to feel uncomfortable in her body... it wasn't as bad as it could have been. WHY?
Well, I wasn't a stranger to the experience and I knew just how to "deal."
If you don't know my "story," here's a little insight. In my teens and early 20's I suffered greatly from insecurities of all sorts (largely about my body but also an endless list of other things) and for over a decade, I had NO FREAKING CLUE how to overcome them or even handle them. One minute I'd feel totally fine and the next, something seriously random (or pointed) would happen and knock me on my ass for weeks, feeling totally insecure, worthless, unhappy, stuck, etc.
Luckily, in my mid-20's, I got wise. I realized that I DON'T have to be or feel insecure AT ALL, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO ME OR AROUND ME! Say what?! Seriously, that realization changed my life!!! From that moment on, I worked to become BEST FRIENDS with my body. No more, me against her, or her failing me or me being disappointed in her. She was my #1, my bestie, my true BAE.
I didn't kick insecurity to the curb over night, I actually spent an entire year, "researching" through my own trial and error, to figure out what worked for me.
So, just like back then, when the "weird episode" happened in Target last week, here is what I did:
My 6 "tricks" for getting over insecurity and getting back to loving the heck outta yo self!
1. FORGIVE THE THOUGHT.
Honestly, the first thing you have to do, is acknowledge the insecurity, forgive it and let it go! If you get angry with yourself for the thought, you are only continuing the cycle of hurt. I actually forgive myself, out loud. I say "Oh my darling, I am so sorry that happened. I'm so sorry you felt xyz. (be it scared, insecure, not good enough, whatever)." I let myself know, that I am her partner and I totally understand how many forces are out there, trying to break me down, but I WON'T let it happen.
2. GIVE YOURSELF A PEP-TALK.
Forgiving yourself is #1, but just forgiving might not snap you out of the moment... so this is where the PEP-TALK comes in. Depending on the cause or the insecurity, your pep-talk might change... let me give you a few examples of what I said in the Target parking lot. "Girl, you are SO MUCH MORE than a body." "You're body is so resilient, strong, and brave." "Look at all you have accomplished with that body!" "You have run 4 half marathons." "You give amazing love to your family, partner, dawg and farm animals with that body." Each instance will have it's own set of "pep-talk lines" and each one of us is different, so ask yourself what you'd like to hear...
3. BREAK A SWEAT.
For me, there is honestly nothing better than moving my body, when I am feeling stuck or insecure. It varies, day-to-day, sometimes it's yoga, dancing, going for walk or running. But the minute I focus on moving with my body and not against her, my whole perspective changes!
4. WRITE IT OUT.
I think I started keeping a journal in 5th grade. It has always helped me to process my feelings and to take stock of where I was and where I am now. It also really helps me to look at the experience from an "outsiders" perspective and to be able to evaluate the outcome. Why did I react the way I did? Why did the experience hurt me? What could I do differently next time, to avoid the same outcome or if I feel insecure again, how can I move past it faster?
5. EAT A NOURISHING MEAL.
Just like I said before, the most important thing I did to change my relationship to confidence and insecurity, was to tell my body that SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. Part of that relationship is fiercely taking care of her. The better I feed her, the sharper, wiser, happier and healthier she is. So, eating a box of cookies in a moment of insecurity sure as heck, will NOT help her to feel safe, taken care of, valued or respected. So, instead of eating half-a-cake, I feed her a nourishing, home-cooked-by-me, meal.
6. OWN YOUR WEIRD.
Here is my final "trick" and it's probably my favorite. If you OWN YOUR WEIRD, if you LOVE yourself so fiercely and unapologetically, no matter what anyone else has to say about you or to you, it just won't have as much power to hurt you. Yeah, I can be super awkward, say pretty stupid things, am typically taller than just about everyone else and I'm dyslexic, but when I take away the "embarrassment" of it all, and just own it, no one can use it against me.
So there you have it, my 6 tricks to overcome insecurity.
With great LOVE & COMPASSION,
If you are currently struggling to feel happy or at peace in your body & life and would like some support, I'd seriously LOVE to help! The first step is to book a FREE 30 minute Break Through Session with me so we can get you clear on what you want for your life, what you're struggling with and see if working together is right for you. CLICK HERE, to book. I can't wait to chat. xx