On Sunday, I was fortunate enough to lead a workshop at Marist College, in Upstate NY. This workshop, Confidence is Key: 10 Simple Steps to Rocket Your Self Esteem, was in the works for nearly a year before I finally shared it. Sunday was the second time I shared it at Marist College and honest to God, exactly 1 year from the moment I conceived of the idea and wrote about it in my journal. (If you follow me on Insta- you saw the picture of that very page in my IG stories...)
My experience of leading this workshop, both live and as an online training (that's a hyper link btw, you can watch it if you'd like, but it's only available for 48 hours) have been completely life changing for me. I honestly remember the moment that I knew what I wanted to "do". I was nannying at the time and I was on my daily walk with the baby. As she slept in her stroller, I listened to my favorite audio book. The author, Jen Sincero, asked something along the lines of, "If you weren't scared, what would you do." It hit me like a bolt of lightening, I said "I want to travel around to colleges, doing lectures on self-love, confidence and self care." I knew then, that I wanted to help women become besties with their bodies, cultivate radical self confidence and create the life of their dreams... in short, I knew that speaking about confidence and self acceptance was my purpose.
What's funny though, is that knowing something is your purpose and accepting it as your purpose are entirely different things... Let me tell you, that just because I knew in that moment, that I wanted to be a lecturer on confidence, did not make the last year easy for me, by any means.
Instead, I fluctuated between being totally lit up and on path, to freaking the fuck out and doing everything I could to hide from it... in short, sometimes I did what I needed to and other times, I was a self sabotage genius!
The most important thing I want stress to you, is that I know it can be really hard to accept ourselves, for who we are, who we used to be and what we have to offer to this planet. I know that it's so much easier to hide within the crowd, than to do anything that could make us stand out, especially when that thing is sharing vulnerabilities, part of our story or our "darkness."
The truth of it though, is that when we feel like we need to hide ourselves away or be embarrassed of our stories and experiences, we are ultimately pretending to be something & someone other than who we are. Now, I am not saying, that you have to share every single single dirty detail or confess to every insecurity you have, to the stranger on the bus... but it's when we dare to embrace ourselves, that we can stop pretending. When we ourselves accept our journey as a beautiful gift and the building blocks of the kick ass, warrior goddess you are, then we can finally impact the world for better.
Your truth, might not be that you too want to speak on college stages, I'm just simply saying that until we accept all the facets of who we are, we are keeping our gifts from the world. Maybe you want to be an artist, an author, a teacher, a mother, an accountant, whatever- know that when you give yourself the space to love the whole you, everything you bring into the world will reflect the light inside of you (and part of that light is also your past darkness).
I implore you to take the steps you need to, to heal your fear of stepping fully into yourself. Be the woman who you really are. You are already the woman you are "meant to be", you must acknowledge her, tell her, you love every part of her, every detail, all the trials and tribulations you have dealt with, so that you can release yourself from the game of pretend.
This world doesn't need another perfectly edited, airbrushed or filtered life or woman to look up to. We need the messy, complex and stunning warrior goddess inside of you to just be herself- I promise you, I am so wildly impressed by your story and I can't wait to hear more of it (share it with me if you'd like). But also, share it with the world, in whatever capacity you'd like.
Let me close with a little confession of my own... did you happen to notice the change in this email header??? Yeah, it now says "Confidence & Self Love Coach." I have been petrified for so long, to just use those words. I've been hiding behind "Nutrition & Wellbeing Coach", because deep down, I was afraid that I wasn't "qualified" to be a coach around confidence, I didn't go to school in the traditional sense, so I used a title that went along with my certificate as a Holistic Health Coach... well, not any more, I'm not pretending to be anyone other than myself... and oh yeah, I DID go to school to teach about confidence, it's called the school of hard knocks... and I am hella qualified.
With great LOVE & COMPASSION,
P.S. If you're interested in the KILLER CONFIDENCE BOOTCAMP, the 12 week group program to help you become besties with your body, cultivate radical self confidence and create the life of your dreams... you can also get 2 FREE one-on-one coaching sessions with me, included in the program when you book your FREE consultation session before 10pm EST tonight. I can't wait to chat. xx