Yesterday was my 33rd birthday. I've been avoiding talking about and acknowledging this birthday. I have never cared about age before. I didn't freak out when I turned 25 or 30, so why now at 33, was it so freaking hard for me?
Over the last 5 years, I have been on a pretty epic journey in finding my truths. My truth in regards to all aspects of my life. My spiritual beliefs, my relationship and beliefs around money, my deep seeded emotional traumas, busting out of all my self-limiting beliefs and revoking my own forms of patriarchy. It's been one hell of a journey and I am so lucky to have had my strong partner by my side. He, has, at times, been the catalyst, the buffer and my safe-haven through it all. Plus, I have made some of the most life-altering friendships that I thank Goddess for, because these women are absolute magic.
2017 was a year of unbelievable growth and change and I can not write it all out here. One thing i will mention is the fact that I bought a business and dove in head first! Let me tell you what, if you want to test your resilience, start a freaking brick and mortar. This blog post is not to reflect on Nourish Juicebar, this post is to commit myself to something, for myself.
One thing I learned over the last 6 months, is that I struggggggggle with setting healthy boundaries. I give and give and give and I can and will always find a reason to cancel the
"nice thing I had planned for myself" in order to get more work done.
There were even times that I went against what I KNEW was best for my health to keep pushing and that's how, I started this year working 102 hours, in the first week and how I now find myself on the couch with the flu (again) yes, I had a different version of it last week.
Over the last 3 weeks, I was subconsciously reflecting on how poorly I was caring for myself. I was scared shitless that a birthday was approaching and I would have to admit that I had been neglecting myself hardcore for the last 6 months. As a health coach and the owner of a health-centric business, I felt like a fraud and so fucking resentful of my lack of self-concern. This is NOT the example I wanted to set for my customers, my future babies, or the level of stress I wanted to be living at. This was absolutely NOT how I ever envisioned treating myself or how I ever wanted to show up in my relationship... yet, I had made all sorts of excuses to allow it to happen. It was a painful realization, that I was the ONLY ONE IN CHARGE OF IT ALL. How I felt, how I showed up, how I allowed things to play out... no one to blame- that is a super shock!
So, here I am, returning to one of the things I love most. WRITING. Writing has been my therapy for nearly 2 decades, I have countless journals stashed away in boxes.
I dedicate this year to loving on myself hardcore! I here by dub this year: the self love project!
I plan to do this by valuing and honoring my needs and desires. No more pushing, no more striving, no more choosing stress over gratitude. This year I will take amazing fucking care of myself!
This blog is for me! I will not write in an authoritative way, I will not write to give guidance or advice, this is simply for me to hold myself accountable to my needs. I will check in daily, to keep track of the ways in which I cared for myself or, let's face it, the ways I struggled, cause baby ain't perfect.
Here's to the start of my 33rd year!
Now, I'm excited!
This year's motto: Self Care is True Success!